I’m going to be honest. I loathe fast food of any kind. Some people may pity me and criticize me over the fact that I find burgers utterly disgusting (and fast food salads taste like they’re made with dumpster ingredients) but this is my opinion. People from my country of residence, the U.S.A., have a slew of stereotypes attached to us: unintelligent, arrogant, religious, violent, and, of course, obese.
Some people may blame McDonald’s for this. I, however, blame the ever-increasing entropy of the universe, as our metabolic activity is constantly generating heat, causing things (including people) to expand. America is first, and the rest of the world will follow, until we all explode in a giant cloud of stardust.
Anyway, McDonald’s has expanded its empire over the years, to the point where it is now basically world-wide. Different cultures have different tastes and traditions. As a result, the menu for Micky D’s is different around the world to accommodate the local tastes. This results in Food items like…
When I read the description of this dish, it sounded to me like something more at home in a fancy Eastern restaurant than in a McDonald’s. This is a porridge dish with chicken, onions, chilies, and ginger.
Chicken and Spaghetti-Indonesia
This one is self-explanatory. Interestingly enough, McDonald’s tried a pasta menu in its native land, but it never caught on. Both chicken and spaghetti are, in my mind, “nostalgia foods” or “kid foods.” Both chicken and pasta are commonly seen in Lunchables and microwavable kid’s dinners, so this dish gives me the impression that it’s popular with the children in Indonesia.
Hot dogs are another menu item McDonald’s tried out that didn’t fare well in America. However, it seems that Japan liked it so much that somewhere along the line, someone thought, “Gee, those customers really like the hot dogs. Let’s see what happens if we start selling really big ones that don’t even fit in the bun.” Thus, the birth of the Mega Sausage. Why do I have the feeling that these are more popular with the women?
Chocolate and Orange Pie-Britain
McDonald’s has initiated a sale on “pies,” which, in the world under the yellow arches, is essentially a dessert Hot Pocket. In the UK, they sell a version with chocolate filling and orange flavor. Although I was never a fan of those orange-shaped chocolates with the citrus kick, I can definitely understand how people might like this kind of thing, especially if they grow up with it.
For this goodie, we travel from Britain to Thailand, where chocolate and oranges are taken out of the picture and replaced with a more tropical-sounding dessert. A “pineapple pie” (or a pie-napple?) sounds like something you would eat chilled while at an island resort.
Seaweed Shaker Fries-Various Asian Countries
Yes, the stuff that wraps around your feet and gets in your hair when you go to the beach is the same stuff that some people like to sprinkle on their fries. While the concept of seasoning fries with seaweed sounds repulsive to some, there are various health benefits to seaweed: it is high in protein, Vitamin C, and several different minerals.
Gazpacho is a traditional food in Spain. It is a type of soup made from tomatoes (usually the main ingredient) and other vegetables. While most soups are eaten when hot, gazpacho is served chilled.
We’re all familiar with the chicken nuggets they sell at McDonalds. In Russia, they offer a similar item that could easily be mistaken for a chicken nugget until you bite into one and get a mouthful of melty cheese. It’s what would happen if chicken nuggets and mozzerella sticks had a baby. These morsels of fried brie cheese apparently come with some kind of dipping sauce, but I don’t know what. Also, I will admit that they look delicious. So heart-attack-inducing…and so delicious…
This one looks like the wet dream of the food connoisseur, but it is a beloved food item in Canada. Poutine consists of French fries drizzled with gravy and mixed with cheese curds.
10. Snack al Parmigiano-Italy
You find yourself at a McDonald’s in Italy. You’re wondering what to get as your side, seeing as fries are so…greasy and salty. If only there was something less oily and higher in calcium! Fret not, because in Italy, McDonald’s offers the Snack al Parmigiano as an alternative to a side of French fries. What is Snack al Parmigiano? Why, it’s a prewrapped bar of Parmesan cheese.
They say that all good things must come to an end. Our journey finishes as we look for something with which to wash all of that down, and we land in Australia. Why must only they have frozen Coke? Also, instead of just McDonald’s, all restaurants and ice cream shops should have frozen Coke. Because it’s frozen freaking Coke.